Review: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Can Millennial geek culture just start over? Can we get a new book series to collectively obsess over? Please?

“Your devotion is nothing more than cowardice. You would not be here if you had anywhere else to go.”

Dumbledore has moved on from allowing his students to put themselves in danger to actively throwing them into danger himself!

Harry’s name is mysteriously chosen for the tri-wizard tournament, which is very dangerous because… Oh this is the Potter-verse you need to ask? So Harry competes in the tournament and he wins, but plot twist:

Voldemort is behind it all!

Really? No one saw that coming? How did you morons defeat him the first time? Oh right, you didn’t, a baby did it!

All the adults involved in the tri-wizard cup should be sued for reckless endangerment! Ron and Herminie may have been convinced that Dumbledore wasn’t going to let them drown, but I’m not. This is the same man who has tossed you into deathtraps every single year! I wouldn’t put drowning a few students past him at this point.

I still don’t understand why Harry competed at all. The ADULTS made the rules about one competitor per school and the minimum age limit rule right? So why isn’t Harry just disqualified?

After all, it is unfair that Hogwarts has two champions, Harry should be disqualified for his being under age AND being the second Hogwarts student chosen. What is the worst that could happen if they made Harry sit on the bench for the whole competition? I mean, they KNOW that someone put Harry’s name in to try and kill him right? That part is really, really obvious… so why would you let Harry compete at all? If Dumbledore is interested in keeping the kid’s safe, then why not stop Harry from competing?

How does this magical pact of the name drawing work exactly? Why does no one question it? Even if he’s on the “scoreboard” why can’t Harry just sit on the sidelines the whole game and get zeros each round?

At the end of the novel I was thinking just one thing: So are we going to use time turner magic to save an innocent student and stop the most powerful evil wizard ever from re-building his forces? No? Okay?

You know, I’m starting to think Aunt Petunia was right in the first book, maybe the wizarding world is just evil.

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