A Totally unbias review of The Birds Of Pray

Hello this is the Odd Librarian, and totally not Harley Quinn, stealing the librarian’s phone to leave a fake review of my this movie.

Harley Quinn smiling

This is the best movie ever! I mean Hitchcock’s got nothing on what’s-her-face who made this picture. I love the fact that in a Birds of Prey movie the Birds of Prey don’t even appear!

Harley must have scared those birdies silly to stay out of there own movie… Except for Huntress, she was there a little… Because you don’t scare Huntress.

The “Birds” don’t team up together until the last 20 minutes of the movie. They have no bond, no reason to stick together at the end and form the Birds of Prey. We don’t see them bond, we’re just told they do with voice over, that’s much better because it’s me Harley doing the narrating.

I love that the foreshadowing for the Canary cry was both painfully obvious and not enough. She breaks a glass while singing. Seriously, that’s the only foreshadowing to her powers. If you know what it’s foreshadowing, it’s painful, and if you don’t, well, you probably will like the jokes in this movie.

I know Black Canary is one of those characters whose back story changes every time they reboot the contanuity, but I thought Diana Lance was the daughter of the OG Black Canary and a cop. And their little girl grows up, not to be a founding member of the JLI. Nope she’s a trashy lounge singer living in the slums who has to be dragged into helping people… because that’s what feminism looks like!

P.S. why does she live in the slums? Is it because she’s black?

Cassie Cain is a plot coupon. It’s great, because we already got Harley, so who needs characters, am I right? Cassue is not Batgirl, and she’s not even with the Birds of Prey at the end of the movie. She’s a scared little kid. Cuz don’t that sound so much better than the Cassandra Cain from the comics?

Speaking of Batgirl, there’s no Oracle in this. But that’s great, this way I… I mean, Harley gets the rally the Birds at the end. We don’t need Oracle, because Babs coming face to face with the former girlfriend of the man who crippled her, that would actually be serious and moving. Naturally, the picture is better without it!

Loser

The best part is that Black Mask is so pathetic. I love that you can tell this script originally called for Mr.J but it fell through, so they made it Black Mask instead.

Ewin MacGregor is chewing the scenery like he’s next door in the Hansel and Gretel movie!

The only true laugh in this movie got rom me is when he puts on the stupid Power Rangers mask. That’s the mark of a great movie bad guy, when you can’t take the threat seriously.

Oh, I have to mention the best part of the movie! I Harley blows up Ace Chemicals to announce her break up with the Joker. Everyone freaks out about the fact that they are broken up… Not that there is a massive chemical fire spewing who knows what into the atmosphere. Montoya even goes to the scene without so much as a breath mask! If that doesn’t have you laughing, I don’t know what will.

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